Today i shall be writing about an article i read from a book on sexual body language by Martin Lloyd-Elliot, it’s really good and if i had to choose a guide book on body languages that best addresses the needs of the dating game, i would definitely choose this book. (:
The topic shall be discussing on the topic on how to avoid dominance and power plays. This is something i believe a lot of men are guilty of and perhaps some females too.
The Height Advantage
For men, we usually exploit our height advantage to imply power or status. While tall and high-status men may be rated as attractive, a bad impression is created if you imply a need to dominate and control. It is thus, inadvisable to enter another’s personal space zone from a position of height. Women too, should be wary of such acts as power plays are seen as disarming by the fragile male ego.
Here’s an example of how a woman may perceive a man as intrusive and challenging :
If she’s on her phone and a man encroaches on her territory by, for example, placing a briefcase, a cup of coffee or a file on her desk, this will not be conducive to any feelings of attraction. The same can be said if he leans over her desk or sits on it.
However, if the man indicates with his facial expression or hands that he wishes to do so, and permission is granted with a nod and a smile, covert or overt feelings of attraction will be in the air.
And here’s an example of how a man may perceive a woman as attacking or challenging :
If a man is sitting at a desk, he will unconsciously perceive it as attacking or challenging if a woman moves into his space and remains standing up.
The Key : Go Low
It is crucial to know the correct ways to approach both a man and woman, but from this article one thing remains evident, that we shouldn’t remain standing when in their zone (if they’re sitting down) as that seems plain intrusive and challenging. Do note that you shouldn’t drop to all fours because of this too, you could make yourself comfortable by crouching down or when granted permission accompanied with a nod and a smile, sit or lean on their desk.
Thus, in conclusion, it is crucial to avoid dominance and power plays, and never enter someone’s close personal space from a position of height. Like earlier said, men often exploit their extra height advantage to convey power or status. While tall and high-status men may generally be rated as being more attractive, using this tactic might, whether you meant to or not, imply a need to dominate and control and it is very off-putting. Same goes for women, try not to enter a man’s personal space from a position of height.
The Epitome Of Confidence
With that said, do be conscious of your approach to a person of your fancy, of course, don’t be overly conscious as that would make you seem rather.. unnatural. Moving with grace and an air of confidence is very attractive too.
My next update is on the specific dos and don’ts of entering someone’s personal space, so remember to get free RSS or email updates and join our dating site to conveniently receive free updates so you won’t miss out on anything potentially important to your dating life! (: